VISTAS: An awareness of a range of time, events, or subjects. A broad Mental View.

How my death is........................

Colleen O'keefe

The tears from my heart mingle with my pain
As I sit alone in the bitter wind, drowning in torrents of rain

Someone has ripped out my heart, and torn it up, I decide
Because everything I am is suffering--I am not whole inside.

The world looks upon me as an outsider--on the outside looking in
As they all pass me by, stop to spit on me, and leave me alone with the wind.

Yes, the tears my heart so desperately cries are mercilessly ignored
For some reason, this outcast, who also bled red blood, is abhorred.

Yes, despite all of your ploys to disown me, when I cut myself, I bled
But, no, I was some kind of leper, and now, inside, I am dead.

Now, as I drag the razor on my skin and into my vein,
the blood trickles out, and I feel numbness instead of pain

I am numb to the world, to their scorns, their insults
I am dead to the beautiful people who look down on me,

Who leave me with self hatred, and wallow in pride.
I am dead to everything and everyone of this world, now I wait for the painkillers to kick in... and to slowly die..

An Original Work by Colleen O'keefe, © 2003
Permission of the Author to Publish on this Site Granted