VISTAS: An awareness of a range of time, events, or subjects. A broad Mental View.
December 29

A friend is someone we turn to
when our spirits need a lift.
A friend is someone we treasure
for our friendship is a gift.
A friend is someone who fills our lives
with beauty, joy, and grace.
And makes the whole world we live in
a better and happier place.
- Jean Kyler McManus -

2005

Went to Work, went to Mom’s, went to sleep.

2004

Strangers are just friends waiting to happen.
Friends are the Bacon Bits in the Salad Bowl of Life.

2003

It's a hair after Pumpkin time, I'm trying to upload the new Vault pages, and know I should be in bed, for tomorrow will be very long if I do not. I also want to check to make sure the new pages are working correctly and I haven't missed anything in them as links, iframes, server side includes, styles, scripts, jpg's and gifs. and everything it has taken to get that area composed and up and running, not to mention the htm, html and shtml files and having them in the correct format to work the way they are supposed to...Laughing..I think I must be stupid, I should have just let this place grab cobwebs and let it rest in peace.

2002

I keep searching for an impossible answer, or so it seems, I continue to wonder what is wrong with me as a person that I can not be loved? All my life it seems as though I have searched for that one who could love me as I am, at times maybe I have found the one that could but yet couldn't because of their own inner conflicts. I know I must be flawed in some ways, but am I so flawed that I am unlovable, that I am not worth being loved.

I wonder how long I can continue to fight this battle from the darkness alone and on my own. Where does one turn when there is no support or strength to lean on? No reason to exist or to be. No one to care rather you are or aren't how much longer can I be? When I am of no use.

Once again the tears come, once again I fight sleep and the empty cold bed I must go to. Once again I will pray that God give me someone who can love me for me being me.

2001

Today was a wonderful day. almost perfect except for one small thing, but it is something I can live with. I hope that more days are like today was. I shall remember it for some time. and when I go to sleep tonight, I won't feel so alone.

2000

I find when I hold happiness in my grasp I have few thoughts to write

1999

I notice something different in him, he is pushing me away, no matter how I try to be what he wants, it isn't what he wants, it's as though he has made up his mind I am no longer here, even though I am.

1998

Where is the cowboy in Blue?
The sailor at sea?
The southern boy with all the charm?

Where is the creator
and the one who holds the answers
to my destiny unknown

1997

I traveled down a dirt road
I followed it's winding path
beneath skeletal trees, and weeds dried

I watch a hawk soar
I saw the sparrows color the sky black
The geese flying in formation

I traveled alone
as the morning sun split the black
Bringing forth a golden glow

Coloring my world in brilliant colors
and many shades of gray
I traveled the worn path

The path that brought me home