VISTAS: An awareness of a range of time, events, or subjects. A broad Mental View.
December 28

"Victory is won not in miles but in inches. Win a little now, hold your ground, and later, win a little more."
– Louis L'Amour -


I guess I had to tell myself it was Wednesday one more time, it certainly felt like Tuesday all day long. Guess that is because of the weird work schedule I have this week. Didn’t do anything today, worked, and managed 2 miles on the Bike this evening, I certainly hope I can get up to 5 miles before the end of the year. I have really got to buckle down on this health and fitness thing for the new year. No resolutions yet, but I’m going to ponder them out over the next few days and make some good sound ones that I know I can keep.


Friendship is one mind in two bodies.
- Mencius -


Am I content with my life as it is? This is the question that has been running through my mind today. I know I'm not happy being alone but yet I also think I would be unhappy with someone underfoot 24/7 Where does one find the happy medium of sharing a part and a piece with someone else that requires your attention, your time, your presence? Is that possible?

My Thought to Ponder today.


my mood today is that of reflection. longing for what once was, wishing I could go back to the kids fighting among themselves, homework and cooking meals, back to a place of belonging, being needed, and wanted. Now I find that there is no meals to cook, for there is no one to cook them for. there is no reason to wake in the morning, for there is no one there who knows how late I sleep or non one there to even care that I slept late. I long for the other in my life, the place of where I belong once again. I think the saddest thing for me at this time is believing that I will never have that again. No reason to wake, no reason to cook or eat, no reason to clean or to take care of anything. No reason at all for this life


I wonder if something will come up that I won't get to see the face I long to see. I wonder if words have been misinterpreted once again. I wonder if I should let go, I wonder if I shouldn't want to see, to touch and to share a space in time with this special someone.


War like any other racket, pays high dividends to the very few. The cost of operations is always transferred to the people who do not profit.
- General Smedley Butler -


The days are all the same, no purpose no good.


I thought of you today
of where you were
and what you were doing
I imagined myself with you
holding your hand
touching your face
I thought I felt your heart beating
inside my breast
I thought of you today
and wondered where you had been
and where you will go
I thought of you today


Sleep eludes me today
my eyes are heavy but my mind is awake